Monday, September 30, 2013

Elle Preview

Hotel is booked, and Elle today confirmed that she will be there.  She texted me a picture of herself driving in her car the other day, wearing sunglasses and with her arms covered up.  She actually looks "normal" without all the tats.

There is a very real possibility now that we will meet and have sex.  Unbelievably, she has to return to work after we're together.  I told her that at least she'd return with a smile on her face (and quite a bit of cash in her wallet).

Open Marriage...I Got THIS CLOSE!

Last night, DW and I had a very frank and emotional discussion about our marriage.  She has some very legitimate concerns about how she and I are getting along -- for instance, around parenting.  The kids have very vocally told her that they want me to help them with their homework, and not her.  This is not because I'm better at it than her.  In fact, I'm less patient with them than she is.  But, unlike DW, I can see when my kids have hit their limit, beyond which their attention spans are a quickly diminishing asset.  So I'm the one who says, when they get to that point, "OK, let's stop here and pick it up again after (pick an activity) or tomorrow."  Their complaint is that DW forces them to push ahead, demands revision after revision to already good-enough work, and ignores their pleas for a break.  I think they exaggerate a bit, but she's pretty good at pacing them so that they're not always completing their work at the last minute.

DW has also made it very clear that something about the tone of my voice, my body language, etc., causes her to feel less than, insecure, and like a second-class person in her house.  I heard her loud and clear.  My response, however, was, "This is how I sound when I'm frustrated, and I'm frustrated a lot.  Not with you, specifically, although I feel that sometimes.  I'm more frustrated with everything and everyone."  This doesn't excuse me, of course, but it at least puts my behavior in a context that doesn't make it all about her. 

Of course, the discussion wound its way to sex after about an hour.  I put in the plainest terms ever that I think we're no longer sexually compatible.  I love blow jobs, but she doesn't.  I am tired of her not touching me in any romantic way.  I told her that I counted the number of times we had sex this year -- eight -- which made her very sad.  Sad that I actually counted (which I've never done), and sad that it was such a low number.  She wants us to be more sexual, but she feels very stressed and has no sexual energy or interest.  I said, "If that's what you want, how about we figure out a different way to alleviate our stress?"  Instead of turning to food, let's use sex to release stress.  Simple, right?  She warmed to that idea, but I know it's going to take some time before we reach that point.  At the end of the discussion I very clearly said that if her interest in sex was not going to change, or if she didn't want things to improve, she needed to let me know as soon as she knew.  I didn't come right out and say "open marriage," but I let her know that if she couldn't satisfy me, then I'd have to take care of myself in my own way. 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Testing My Patience

Incredibly, I haven't yet kicked Elle to the curb.  This week I had tried to arrange dates with her last night and tonight. From her work to my hotel, it's an hour-long drive. However, because of her work schedule yesterday, she would be driving in traffic, which could have been up to two hours. To sweeten the pot, I offered her extra sugar, and she was totally down. .

However, a half hour after she was supposed to be on the road, I got a text from her. She was stuck at work until further notice and tonight was off. She unloaded her frustration about the demands of her job. I didn't really want to get into the drama of it, so I pretty much ignored all that. I texted back: sorry to hear about all this. I truly believe we'd be great together and I like you. We'd totally hit it off, personality-wise. But I'm beginning to think we're not such a good fit, logistically. Too many problems between job, time limits, etc. Can you see what I mean?

She felt bad but what was she gonna do?  She did, at my request, call me (at the wrong time), so I got to hear her voice for a few minutes.

This morning, feeling refreshed after a decent sleep, I texted her again: sorry again about your rough day, but I hope you got some sleep. So I'm thinking: you need to had fun! And that's what I'm offering. Come down tonight, we'll laugh, play, talk, and you can de-stress. Plus, there is $500 plus a gift card waiting for you when you get here. Sound like a plan?

She wasn't able to swing it because her hours today didn't get her off till 9:30.  So we're going to have to make time for when I get back to town.  She offered to take time off her work to be with me. "That's what I wanted to see, Elle! Let's do next Wed. 4 pm." She agreed and we're tentatively scheduled.

She doesn't realize that this is her last chance. If she cancels again, I'm moving on. Certain she won't be surprised when that happens.

I've never stretched this much for a potential mistress. But I like her, and think we'd be great together if we can get past the logistics.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Update on the Update

DW and I had sex the morning after I wrote my last post, at about 4 am.  Both of us were groggy, but we were both willing.  Of course, no foreplay, barely any kissing.  I lubed up, got on top of her, and started going at it.  Her body was not yielding, and her legs were so close together that I had to place one of mine outside hers to get any depth of penetration.  After a few seconds of this, however, she complained that she had to urinate.  So we had to stop while she relieved herself (I had done so a few minutes before we'd begun).  When she came back, she was dry again, so we applied more lube to both of us.  It was over in less than five minutes, and I kissed her, told her I loved her, and cleaned us both up.  Almost instantly, she turned the TV on and I had been tuned out.  All in all, very par for the course. 

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Update on the Homefront

Tonight, DW is going out to a party without me.  It's a party that many of our neighborhood friends will be attending, and is basically a costume dance party.  Ugh. 

I had no desire to go to this party from the get-go, but DW kept harping on it.  Finally, this morning, I just said, "I really don't want to go.  I don't want to get a sitter for the kids at the last minute, and I just know I won't have a good time."  "Fine," she replied, "I'll go alone."  She called up a friend who was already going and she'll be a third-wheel with her and her husband.  I get to spend the evening at home with the kids, and I couldn't be happier.  But I know that she'll be asked about a hundred times, "Where's Porter?  Didn't he want to come?"  I shudder to think of how awkwardly DW will attempt to answer this question, and now the gossip mill will be set in motion.

But I also had to admit that I really don't want to go out with DW.  She's become boring, and we are seriously drifting apart.  We have nothing to talk about anymore, other than the kids, their educations, money, and goings on in the neighborhood (i.e., gossip).  She's deeply incurious, choosing instead to focus on being a mother than an informed citizen.  While I have my extra-curricular activity that takes a lot of my time, my work and my passions for writing and politics require me to stay connected to the world, the economy, and my fellow thinkers.

Further, we haven't had sex in two months now, and there's no end in sight.  I just observed another birthday, and the possibility of sex barely reared its head.  I can't recall how many times we've had sex this year, but I'll guess it's about five.  She revealed to me the last time that penetrative sex is painful for her now, and since she doesn't like receiving oral anymore, there's really nothing left to do.  So I've pretty much given up on sex with DW.

UPDATE: DW and I had sex the next morning, about 4 am.  Both of us were groggy, but we were both willing.  Of course, no foreplay, barely any kissing.  I lubed up, got on top of her, and started going at it.  Her body was not yielding, and her legs were so close together that I had to place one of mine outside hers to get any depth of penetration.  After a few seconds of this, however, she complained that she had to urinate.  So we had to stop while she relieved herself (I had done so a few minutes before we'd begun).  When she came back, she was dry again, so we applied more lube to both of us.  It was over in less than five minutes, and I kissed her, told her I loved her, and cleaned us both up.  Almost instantly, the TV went on and I was tuned out.  All in all, very par for the course. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Guest Blogger

The West Coast Sugar Daddy Journal does something it has never done before.  We have accepted an invitation from Exa, blogger and publisher of The Sugar Daddy Diaries, to do a post swap.  She will post on our blog, and we will post on hers, providing our mutually unique perspectives on sugar life to each other's readers. 

Looking forward to doing this!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

More Calendar Woes -- and Worries -- with Elle

Text received at 12:22 am from Elle --

"Headed to ER.  Something's wrong horrid pain. Nd to rainchk."

What does one say, other than, "OK, please keep me updated.  I'm worried about you"?

So our breakfast date, which was on as of 7:30 pm last night, is off for today.

Tomorrow I head out of town for three days.

There is one girl I'd really like to meet, but she has no car right now.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Calendar Woes With Elle

Elle and I had to postpone our lunch date today.  She had a business issue come up at the same time.

Right now we are tentatively scheduled to have brunch on Sunday morning.  If that doesn't work, I'm not available again till Thursday, so this had better work.

One little, very interesting tidbit: our birthdays are a day apart (with a couple decades in between).

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Elle Preview

Texting Elle this morning to see if she felt better, I got a response that said she had turned the corner, and then she asked me if we could meet for lunch late tomorrow afternoon.  "I just want to meet u badly," she wrote.

If that didn't just hook me in no time flat!

So we have a date for lunch. Honestly can't wait.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Changes Coming

In two days I'll give notice at my company and will start a new job.  I face a formidable ramp up to rebuild the business that I've let go in the past three months.  I walk out of this job with nothing but my client and contact lists, which are pretty large, and a fierce determination to make more money. What better way to support this lifestyle?

Sam and I chatted by text last night.  Her changes are still up in the air. She doesn't know where she'll move once she has to move out of where she lives now.  So we won't be getting together next week.

Also, my new job will take me out of town for three days in a couple of weeks for training, and the company will be putting me up in a hotel for a couple of nights.  I mentioned this to Sam, and she's open to an overnight with me.  I mentioned that I'd never done that before with anyone, but I assumed that she had with her previous SD, who was giving her $3,000+ per month. But, apparently, this single guy who was very needy and clingy didn't want that level of intimacy.  Go figure.

Ahead of Elle, while she is recuperating from being under the weather, it will be nice to spend some quality time with Sam.  And if Elle and I don't hit it off, I'm also hoping that Mar will be open to at least meeting.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Some Harsh Criticism

Today I emailed Mar, a girl I'd contacted on the sugar website about a couple of months ago.  We had exchanged emails over a pretty intense three day period and exchanged some naughty pics.  She keeps her bleached blonde hair cut short.  Fantastic body, from what I could see.  We didn't discuss much about it, but I'll say honestly that I probably missed a great opportunity to meet her and get pretty intimate.

I was surprised to get a pretty blunt rejection.  Went something like this:
"it's been interesting reading your stories, but I wouldn't put myself in a situation like [all the girls you've been with]. Based on what I read and my own perceptions from it, it looks like you go through girls like nothing. Not my thing. I'm looking for something more stable/traditional."
Obviously she's been reading the blog.  It sort of hurt to be seen in this way.  I admit that, since last year when Hayden left, it has appeared that I've run through more than a few girls.  Of these, there were four I knew would only be one time going in -- SongNaira, Chica, and K-Bear. There was an equal number -- Wanda, Lola, Jade, and Sam -- who were longer-term.  Lola only lasted twice, but the others have lasted a couple of months.  Sam is still ongoing, and in all honesty I haven't yet decided what I'm going to do about her.  My last post does, I admit, look like I'm trying to hook up for a little side sex. But I resolved by the end of the post not to do that.

It's been a tough year post-Hayden.  Between her leaving and issues in my marriage, this shitty job I'm now leaving, and some medical scares, I definitely have lost some focus.  Perhaps Mar knows this already, but she's helped me see that.

Follow up emails with Mar at least thawed things out a bit, and I might have a chance in month or so. Who knows?

Postponement and "What Will I Do This Week?"

Elle texted me a 3:00 am to tell me she'd been up sick for hours.  Poor thing. 

Plus, given that this is my last week at my current job, and since Sam will need to be focused on finding a new place to live, I doubt that I'll have a date story.

I have a couple of girls still in the hopper to reach out to -- Aura, Arabia, or Mimi -- that I could probably get laid this week.  But they'd be one timers only as I'm holding out for Elle.  If I fuck one of them, I'd be unable to do another date for two weeks.  So I'm probably going to refrain.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

K-Bear Post-Mortem

I said goodbye to K-Bear this morning by text.  Simply put, I wasn't knocked by her physically, and even though the sex was alright, it wasn't good enough for me to consider an arrangement with her.

My text read differently, however: "This is just going to be a one-time thing.  I had a great time with you and wish you luck."

She was a little less tactful: "No worries.  I was thinking the same thing.  You were too big for me!"

I found that hilarious.  No woman had ever ended a relationship with me because of the size of my cock.  "Well, since we're being honest, you were a bit shallow (physically) for me too.  I didn't quite fit."

We had a nice laugh and that was it.

A Monday Thick With Possibilities

Tomorrow morning I will be meeting Elle, who had a great profile on the sugar daddy website.  Elle sits comfortably within my preferred age range of 25-30.  She clearly stated that she is not looking for a serious relationship.  She's lived in both northern and southern California.

Interestingly enough, Elle goes completely against type for me.  I speak specifically of her many tattoos.  Elle sports multi-colored tattoos on both arms, from her shoulders to her wrists. The tattoos look very elaborate.  From the other photos she's sent me or posted on her profile, I can see that she also has tattoos on other parts of her body.

As my readers know, I am not a fan of tattoos.  Hayden had one tiny hidden tat.  That was about as much as I really cared to see.  But Elle looks so gorgeous with this body art, I absolutely cannot wait to see them (or her!) in the flesh.

On top of that, she has this Mediterranean look that suggests Italian, Greek, Israeli, or even Spanish.  Long dark hair, brown eyes,a bright smile with white teeth.  Her body appears very slim, with smallish breasts and nice hips.

Yesterday, Elle sent me these pictures, at my request.  I noted that I hadn't seen any pictures of her below the shoulders (although I realized later that I had seen her profile pictures of her in a bikini. She sent them, but also asked, "Why, did u worry I just had a smaller top and was a fatty on bottom? LOL  I mean, I def have thighs and booty, but am a slim person."  My response was that breast size didn't matter to me (which is true), and that I was more attracted to faces and arms.  Ahhh, that's why I love her tats!  They accentuate her very shapely and toned arms.  The rest of her appears very cute as well.

Beyond the purely physical, Elle appears to have a very deep intellect and a warm heart.  She works as a counselor to addicts and alcoholics.  People who do that work are typically recovering addicts themselves, and her profile states that she's a non-drinker.  

Also, she and I are meeting tomorrow morning for coffee because she will be seeing family later in the day and she has a bit of a shlep to get there.  I was touched when she told me that she was doing that.  In fact, it made the think of all the other girls I'd been with over the years.  CC did not have a relationship with her family (as far I can remember).  Hayden gets along well with her mother, but not her father (they are divorced).  Wanda's parents were still married, and she has a good relationship with both of them.  Jade never knew her biological father, has no relationship with her stepfather, and doesn't really get along with her mom.  And Sam calls her mother "Donald Trump," because anytime her mother calls her, it's related to money (usually, she needs it).  I'm beginning to wonder if divorce and dysfunctional family relationships are a prerequisite for the women who seek assistance from Sugar Daddies.  Why do you think we call ourselves Sugar Daddies?

This girl leaves me craving for Monday morning already.  I don't drink coffee, but I'll gladly watch her suck down a cup of Joe to get a three-dimensional view of this three-dimensional woman.

Since Elle and I haven't discussed finances, I'll hold onto Sam for now.  If Elle is good with my arrangement terms and we have a more convenient meeting place, then I'll be sending Sam on her way.

Setback for Sam

I hadn't gotten a reply from Sam to either of the texts I'd sent later in this past week.  I was beginning to go to my usual place of, "Well, if she's not going to stay in touch, then she's bored, and I'm bored, so let's just call it quits."

So last night, out to dinner with the family, I sent Sam another text: "Text #3, will she respond?"

It took a little while but she did reply.  She said she'd had a very stressful week.  She lives with a relative, and the relative is selling the house that they share.  The escrow will close in 30 days, so she'll have to find a new place to live.  Since she has operated her business from the home, she now has to figure out where she can run her business from now on.  This is a major undertaking and it is taking its toll on her.  She couldn't even take the time to talk to me.  I had to pry just this much out of her.

In any event, it will mean a move for her.  If she heads further away than she is now, I'm afraid that will mean the end of our relationship.  It's not so bad now, but with the distance to travel and the possibility of traffic hangups, I just don't want to waste my time waiting for her at hotel rooms.

On top of that, there's another girl in the wings who really has my attention.  More on her later.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Berry Was Too Ripe...

Today I met Berry for lunch near my office.  She only lives a few blocks away, with a former employer of hers who agreed to let her live with him rent-free in exchange for cleaning up and cooking.  Yeah, I know. Suuuuuuuure.  He's banging her.  Do I care?

Not really.  She showed up on time, walking up the street toward where I was standing in front of the restaurant.  She had her blonde hair pulled back in a tight bun, and wore a loose fitting black sundress. Once she got closer I got a better look.

A slight tangent now, but apropos: Last night, I watched the movie Ray, starring Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles. Being blind, Ray Charles couldn't use his eyes to see if he was attracted to a particular woman.  Instead, he would shake her hand, and use his left hand to touch her wrist and work up her forearm.  If it didn't feel slender and feminine to his touch, he would not pursue her.

Well, I took one look at Berry's upper arms and decided I would not sleep with her.  She had wonderful looking tits and a very cute face and smile, but I could tell that, underneath that dress, she was dumpy and out of shape.

The lunch was enjoyable and we laughed a lot, but I knew even after kissing her goodbye that I'd never call her again.  Besides, she'd pulled her profile down from the sugar website because she found all of the guys to be creepy or flaky.  Why do anything different?

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

New SB Blog -- Very Entertaining

In my random searches through Google, I came across this site and have been thoroughly entertained by her. Great stories and a good sense of humor.  So tired of the SB blogs that are filled with complaints and little else.   Read it through and enjoy!