Saturday, September 27, 2014

Swinging, International Style, Part 1

After Audrey and I left our encounter with B and J, we discussed over the next several days whether we'd actually want to get together with them again.  As I did not find J attractive, I suggested we could find another couple more to our liking.  Audrey agreed, saying that she didn't like guys with long hair anyway.  So B and J were out.  That began our quest to find another couple for another swinging adventure.

Meanwhile, she and I got together twice more, once at her place and once at a hotel since a friend of hers was staying with her for a couple of weeks.  Good times, including photos and video of her sucking my dick.  She does not shy away from being photographed!

I signed us up for two swinging websites, Swing Lifestyle and Lifestyle Lounge.  These subscription sites promised far more opportunities to meet great people who enjoyed the swinging lifestyle, with more couples in our area, more parties to attend, and better ways to communicate other than Craigslist email.  Unfortunately, what I have found with these sites is that those willing to pay for subscriptions (about $29 a month) tended to skew older, fatter, and not at all close to the kinds of people Audrey and I preferred to fuck.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, my fantasy is to fuck young, slender, and highly sexual women.  If now I have to put up with another man in the room fucking my young, slender and highly sexual woman, so be it!  But I'm not compromising by agreeing to fuck a woman over 40 or 45 just to be able to say I'm swinging.  Unless, of course, she's ridiculously hot with an amazing body and insane sexual skills!  Audrey, likewise, doesn't want old, fat guys with too-hairy balls and a huge belly hanging over it.  So we agreed on the types of people we wanted.  For my part, I had to do a better drop of trimming my balls, and I had to lose some weight!  Didn't want to disqualify myself, right?

Since Craigslist's selection was younger, we decided to forego memberships at the swing sites and focus on finding whom we wanted.  We expected to sift through a lot of shit before we found a decent couple, but we weren't prepared for several disappointments.  One couple, visiting from the East Coast for a week or two and staying in a posh hotel, warmly received my opening email, sending back pictures of both of them.  They were under 35, professionals, and definitely in shape.  Audrey and I had a process, which was for me to do the initial reach-out, sending pictures of both of us with faces included, and requesting face pictures (most CL pictures were cropped to remove faces or creatively posed so that the cell phone blocked the faces, or simply had faces blocked out) and a real email address.  If they responded, and I liked their faces and the rest of their body pictures, I'd forward the email chain to Audrey, who would, if she liked them as well, shoot them her phone number so that the women could "voice verify" (provide proof that each couple was real).  This last step was crucial because we found that many of the CL posts claiming to be couples were actually single men who wanted to join a couple.  If there was no voice verification with a woman, there was no deal.

So this couple responded, and Audrey shot them her phone number, and the girls spoke.  We made plans for an evening right after Labor Day.  I gave DW a cover story and we were set.  The wife and I exchanged several emails and texts during the week leading up to our date about how excited we each were to be making this happen.  Unfortunately, as the evening approached, and I continued to scroll through CL ads, I kept seeing theirs pop up again.  I got the feeling that we would get bumped at the last minute for another couple.  This is exactly what happened. The night before I got a text from the wife saying that her husband had a business function the next night until 10 pm and that they were now unavailable. "Next time!" she wrote.  Audrey and I were disappointed to say the least.  But I didn't believe them. I sent a text that I kept seeing their ad on CL, and it felt like they had selected a different couple instead of us.  "It would have been better just to tell us that than to make up a story about your scheduling difficulty."  Since I didn't get a response, I suspect I nailed the real reason why it didn't happen.

Other couples turned out to be single guys or druggies.  Audrey actually met on her own with a couple one night. We had agreed that it was OK for us to play separately if the opportunity presented itself.  They were a Friends With Benefits couple like us, but they were 35 and 18 years old.  I was suspicious of them, but Audrey was willing to check them out.  If they were decent people we'd set something up.  An hour into her visit, however, the guy pulled out a bag of cocaine.  She said thanks, but I don't do drugs, and she left.  

Craigslist also had a fair amount of ads that suggested something called "PnP," which stood for "Party and Play."  This indicated that the poster intended to include drug use along with the sex. These were easy to avoid, along with ads that mentioned "Tina" (meth) or "Molly" (Ecstacy).

After several unsuccessful attempts, I ran across an ad a few days ago that caught my eye.  It did so because the poster had included more pictures (around 20) than any other ad I'd seen.  They were a married couple in their mid 20s, both dark haired and a little curvy.  The photographs mostly featured the girl and her very curvy body, but there were a lot of cock shots too. The guy was just about the hairiest dude I'd ever seen, except for his crotch, which was completely shaven.  I like my girls slender, and I know that Audrey isn't too keen on really heavy guys.  However, there was a sincerity to the ad copy that I liked, and it seemed completely unpretentious.  I responded and sent our standard pictures.  The guy wrote back that he found us "amazing," and let us know that they were available on the day Audrey and I were planning to get together.  He said they could even host at their apartment.  Since I thought they were nice, I sent the email chain to Audrey, who agreed with me that they were worth checking out.  The husband sent over two pictures showing their faces. They were definitely Middle Eastern, perhaps Persian (explained the hairiness).  Audrey sent her phone number, and after a number of texts and a phone conversation with the wife, we made plans to meet them at an upscale outdoor mall over coffee before heading to their apartment which was just a few minutes away by car.  The husband and I texted the morning of our date to confirm, and to go over some sexual details before we moved forward.  Turned out that his wife was not bisexual, but curious, and had never been with a girl.  They had never been with another couple, but had had many threesomes (presumably with other men).  He apologized that his English wasn't very good (their native language was Arabic), but I didn't mind it at all, and neither would Audrey.  He asked if we did anal sex, and I said no, and he asked if we'd be OK with recording the sex, and I said no, not yet. We felt good about all of this and left things eagerly anticipating our meeting.

I picked Audrey up at her place at 2:15 to be at the mall by 3.  We got their on time despite unusually heavy traffic.  It took far too long to find a decent parking space, but we managed.  The weather was sunny and warm, if not a little too warm.  I felt definitely overdressed in my business attire, but it was, after all, a work day for me.

We found H & L seated at the coffee shop.  H was dressed in a green polo shirt and ripped jeans, while L was in shades and a sundress that showed off her very shapely body (particularly her spectacular tits). We sat down and started to chat.  I was definitely in a chatty mood, as was H, while Audrey and L were quiet.  I didn't want to monopolize the conversation, so I used the fact that I had to pee as an excuse to exit the conversation so that the girls could break a little ice.

We learned that they were students on visas from Saudi Arabia, they were both 24, and they had been married for three years.  They were studying English which was required before they could take entrance exams for university.  He wanted to study Human Resources and she wanted to pursue Healthcare Management.  We found them to be articulate and very sweet.  He was definitely as hairy as his pictures indicated, but L was far more attractive in person than in her pictures.  Her body was thinner and she was more petite than I had thought.  I hadn't seen her eyes behind the shades, but her smile blew me away with her perfect white teeth.  I was definitely very attracted to her.  After a few minutes, including one or two brief awkward lulls in the conversation, I said, "So, how far away do you live?"  H understood that as the cue to end the conversation and head to their apartment.

Audrey and I headed to our car armed with their address.  Despite having a GPS, we got lost inside their huge apartment complex, but managed to make it there in about ten minutes.

They lived in a small one bedroom apartment on the second floor of a two-floor building.  The apartment was sparsely furnished and the carpeting was old and dirty.  There was a bottle of vodka next to the couch and the place needed to be cleaned up, but it would do.  Audrey enjoyed a couple of sips of vodka and lemonade while we all chatted some more.  It was feeling again like someone had to make a move, so I waited for Audrey to say something even remotely suggestive, and I leaned in to kiss her.   That prompted H and L to begin kissing too.  Before long, we were all naked and the girls were going down on us.

to be continued.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Ashley Madison is So Over

Because I had an Ashley Madison profile up years ago, and I've never taken it down, I still get twice-weekly updates showing me new members or new "matches" to my profile.  No offense to anyone who has managed to find anything useful or fun on that website, but for me, it has been one solid waste of bandwidth.

There are basically two classes of women on AshMad: the first are the "attached" women looking for something on the side.  That's fair enough, but I'd certainly never hook up with a married woman.  It's enough drama and risk to have one spouse engaging in extramarital sex.  Both the drama and risk have the potential to increase exponentially when there are TWO unsuspecting spouses, one of them being a husband.  Sorry, all you MILFs, I will avoid you every time.  The second class of women on AshMad are the single girls, most of them under 30, who are up for "Whatever Excites Me" or "Anything Goes."  Generally, when I scan down the profile to see what these women are specifically looking for, I usually see "Seeking a Sugar Daddy."  I'm sorry, but AshMad should not be a site for SBs to find SDs.  Brandon Wade, the founder of Seeking Arrangement and other sugar dating sites, should be suing AshMad for moving in on his territory!  Kidding, but if the reason single girls go on AshMad is to find a sugar daddy, I can't imagine there would be too much success.

Lately, though, I've noticed a third class of woman who is frequenting this website: single women looking for "Something Long Term."  Reading these profiles, it's clear that many of these women are looking for husbands or at least a long-term committed relationship of some sort. Excuse me, but What. The. Fuck?

What woman with a working brain would post a profile looking for a long-term relationship, or even a husband, on a website that was conceived to help married people cheat on their spouses?  Any woman posting a profile on that site to find a man for a long term committed relationship has to know that the VAST majority of the men on the site are looking for extramarital friends, not new wives on whom they can cheat in the future.  Reminds me of that great line in "Jurassic Park," when Jeffrey Goldblum's character, named Ian Malcom, is referring to his love life.  He says something like, "I'm always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. Ian Malcolm."

If you're reading this post and you are a single woman with an AshMad profile, and you're looking there for a husband or long-term boyfriend, please do yourself a favor: go back to OKCupid and Match.  You'll be much more successful there.